There is a constant internal battle that I used to face. Should I be who THEY want me to be or should I be who I want to be? Lately that has been on my mind a lot. Should I suppress my crazy thoughts and ideas to make others feel good? While they make me feel like I’m not accepted for thinking the way I do?
I’m at a point in my life where all I want to do is focus on MYSELF. I don’t mean that in a vain way or anything like that. I mean I want to truly discover who I am. I want to invite relationships and encounters that are meaningful into my life. I want to spend my time with people who make me feel loved and appreciated-just because I’d make them feel the same way.
I remember how I viewed happiness. I didn’t want to be alone and if my friends were doing something I’d tag along because I thought that doing that stuff made me happy. But the void never got filled. I lacked something after doing that stuff. The way I felt stayed the same. I was unhappy. I wasn’t myself…because when I was expressing myself truly I would get shot down.
After realising how destructive this was to my happiness and my mental health I decided that this is not how my ideal life would look like. It took me the longest time to actually realise that the situation would never get better unless I actually make a change.
I wanted to eat healthy and meditate and wake up early and figure out who I am and what I love. And all the things I thought were making me happy did not align with who I wanted to become.
There is freedom with self awareness. There is freedom in knowing who you are. There is a strength that comes with being self aware. And if you know who you are you will know what you want out of life. You will attract the situations and lessons that will create your ideal life.
Your perfect life.
If you can create negative situations with just your thoughs. Imagine what kind of life you can create with only positive thoughts. Being more self aware brings more happiness within…which spills out into the world. Energy out=Energy in. The Universe gives you what you put out.
So with this I say…
Don’t loose yourself trying to make others happy. Find yourself and you will find others who speak the same language.
Lots of Love, Vee🌻😊